Sovereignty > Obedience
Being raised to just do as you’re told – no questions asked is torture.
And unfortunately, I’ve been guilty of parenting the same way and still get caught here. Usually when I’m not present and feeling overwhelmed. But that’s no excuse just an observation.
Life is a LOT easier when no-one is questioning you and just carrying out your instructions immediately…
Hmm are we raising robots or humans with free will and (hopefully) critical thinking skills?
The Role Model
I’ve had to accept that if my boys are learning from me, and I’m the blueprint for how they’ll go on to navigate the world, does it make sense for me to be an authoritarian parent?
Knowing what I know and the work I’m having to do – ABSOLUTELY NOT!!
So I’ve chosen to shift my mindset to say, if they require me to explain to them the reasoning behind something, just because I’m not in the mood or whatever, doesn’t mean their persistence in needing that explanation is disrespectful.
They simply have a need that they require me to meet.
Mind-blown.
Imagine if our parents had this knowledge and did something with it!
The reality is children are learning ALL THE TIME.
And learning requires asking why so that you can choose if this piece of info makes sense for you or not.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that children should just be like well that doesn’t make sense for me so I’m not doing it and we’re just like cool (although there will be times when this is the case!).
But to just say “Because I said so” as a response when you’re asked by your DEVELOPING child to explain something, truly doesn’t cut it. (Wounded me sometimes wish it did, haha but it doesn’t!).
"Going against the grain
Would you agree that children:
have their own free will separate from their parents?
deserve as much respect as adults?
are always trying to make sense of the world with an underdeveloped brain?
need us to be a safe and supportive base for them to thrive?
If you agree to some or all of the above, why is society so hell bent on normalising children who only follow orders without question ALL THE TIME?
When you truly sit down to ponder that I’m sure you’ll see the absurdity of it and then if you go deeper the sickness of it!
Empowered & Sovereign Please
To have empowered, sovereign, independent & critically thinking adults who seek truth — they can’t be yes boys/girls.
As their parents/carers it’s on us to allow them the space to learn, allow them to ask questions and practice the art of critical thinking.
If not, we are the delulu ones for thinking they’ll magically become these adults or even be children who navigate the world in this way.
Therefore we cannot have it both ways – i.e. only ever expecting our kids to be obedient but then also be free happy individuals.
