He ain’t shit!! ALL men are dogs!
Surely we can’t say ALL men ain’t shit? Or call ALL men dogs?
I don’t know about you but I know for sure that I don’t know ALL men.
And despite my experiences these statements never quite sat right with me.
Ironically though, I most defo had similar beliefs running the show! Thanks father, as you most definitely were shit to the women you were with.
But even still, surely not ALL men!?
Well, (unconsciously) yes. His shitty behaviour and abuse cemented that “all” men ain’t shit.
A few years ago I discovered that I didn’t have an ounce of respect for men. And in many ways, was always just waiting for the penny to drop.
And boy did it drop!
Of course, this was an unconscious thing and every move and action taken by the men in my life that proved this belief only cemented it more.
So, once I realised that I had an issue with men, because of my childhood, I went to the extreme of “ok, because this individual is not responsible for my wounds (which was true), I’ll give them more than the benefit of the doubt (🤦🏽♀️ epic mistake; wounding is a bitch!).
Of course that didn’t work out well either, so what did/will?
– Taking the time (solo) to really deep my wounds and how they’ve impacted me. Still very much in progress but SO much has been realised already.
– Taking the time to deep my previous relationships to see how I showed up, what I allowed, and what was going on for me?
– Deep what I believe(d) about myself.
– Deep my patterns.
– Deep my coping mechanisms.
I realised I had to deep who I’d become to survive.
This part is soooo damn painful! And it’s also soooo freeing!
I’m now setting boundaries and keeping them more than not (work in progress!).
I’m showing my inner children what should have been shown to me. It gets mad uncomfortable and at times it feels harsh and unfair but I lovingly remind myself that they’re necessary.
I’m speaking up for myself more. No longer staying silent to keep false peace, especially when my blood is boiling deep in my veins and my back is screaming in agony.
Tbf I was never good at staying quiet and many a time my mouth “got me in trouble” but there were periods when I kept sh!t in until it erupted!
I’m happier (like frfr). I used to survive by laughing away my pain through funny memes and smiles. And although I’ll always turn to laughter as a tool it’s no longer a mechanism to bypass how I truly feel.
And even when life is lifing I feel peace way more (Thank You Jesus!).
Accountability time!
The rain is currently coming down heavy (torrential style) as I sit in my car typing this and it feels symbolic.
I’m soooo thankful that I get to heal. That I get to live this life. Sh!t storms and all 😅
I know so many of us have experienced sh!tty men. And regardless of how they got that way if they choose to stay wounded you still have a choice!
You can choose to keep experiencing them, because you entertain them (unconsciously or consciously).
Or you can choose to start asking questions.
And then go a bit further and start digging into that carefully compartmentalised past so you can clear that dead energy from your cells. Completely heal it from your being and truly thrive.
So you can eventually say I know some men ain’t shit but I can happily say that’s no longer my experience!
Tools I’m using to heal:
